LET GOD SMASH YOU.

I have struggled in life about knowing God, knowing the Bible. Yes, it is lovely to have a church who provides a paid band, paid programs to volunteer, and praising in his name. Yet every time I go out of that particularly church, I am not happy & I feel guilty about things I did for God. I was so focus to becoming someone special and significant for God or perhaps for myself or others, where the fact of the matter is, I am already special and significant under God's eyes. It took me to a low budget and smallest church to realized what knowing God truly is and can be.

If you are feeling condemn from the pastor's message, you are hearing the "law", the old covenant. If you are feeling great from the pastor's message, you are hearing the gospel or "grace", the new covenant. My pride was getting in the way by being a volunteer at church or being an assistant in the Children Bible Study. I felt it's an obligation to do all of these things. I was living under my own mind, power, energy, strategy, and becoming independent of the world.

God describes us in Judges 6:12-14, Gideon was in war and questioned God "why has all this happened to us?...Lord has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian." God did not answer his question because it is ridiculous. God is with you whether you feel it or not. Sometimes, God knows us that if he did explain or show every single time or every moment if he is with you, we, as humans, do not have the comprehension or the concept to "fully" understand it. In this case, you must TRUST him and never put on doubt in your mind. In Judges 7:15-21 established they won the war simply trusting in him and they never even go into battle. It also established the jar of clay symbolized us and little by little in order to bring out light from you, God must broke you. Some are trying to patch it up, tape it, keep it, or clean it up. Let him smash you and bring out the light out of you. Make you shine brighter and brighter. Others seriously believe they have to go through hardships in order to experience God's love or to be broken. I have been through many hardships in my life, but I was still not broken. Don't get me wrong through hardships, you do learn to be depended on God. To be broken, it takes to just receive and to believe his love that is for you.

God gave us Jesus to tell us & give us the reality of truth and not to establish a religion. God loves you perfectly regardless if you are not volunteering at church, not feeding the homeless, not attending every Bible study or preaching to 20 people v.s. 2,000 people. By knowing the incredible reality of truth and believing in Christ, it will move you. Yes, it will move you to do something or everything not for him, but in him & through him. The experience is no longer a burden but it has become a joy and peace that the world will probably never understand.

(2 Cor. 4:6) "For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. "