Update: Desire God's Love

So, the days goes by & here’s an update of my life.

CHOPSTICK STILLS (10.22.08): 

The other day, my fiancée & I went out for dinner one time b/c we both went home too late in order to cook dinner.  We decided to go to a Sushi Dake Restaurant.  It was so embarrassing to eat with my man especially when he can do the chopsticks & I can't do it at all.  Awhile back, I remember being with all my friends (they are truly Americans) and I, the Asian, went to a Sushi Place & I had to ask the waiter to get a plastic trainer for my chopsticks.  Okay, the point is even if Brandon was laughing & mocking me to get a fork or that plastic trainer, I didn't give up.  That's right, baby-I can now and forever eat with chopsticks. 

 JUST BE THERE (10.23.08): 

I went to a prayer meeting at our MediaCity Church.  I went with a friend but it was an interesting place to be on a Wednesday night.  We are both shy & basically, everyone goes in groups and prayed whatever is on their minds & later, everyone prayed together about the world issues.  We just prayed among ourselves however I like to go out & talk to other Christians.  It was tough enough for me to go up and I meet the Pastor.  I let him know, the Church truly open not my eyes but also, my fiancee's eyes.  In fact, my man now wants to go to church more, read the Bible more, and want to be closer to God.  I, too, feel the same.  He couldn't make it with me this time due to work but we will go to Bible Study this coming Saturday.  You can say we are growing in spirit.  Even if she doesn't want to go to the Prayer meeting next Wed., I'll still go with or without her.

CHANGE OF PLANS (10.30.08):

            So, I have a different work schedule and 2 of my days, I am working evening shifts.  I still have Friday & Saturday offs but I bicker and batter about the “change.”  Not only that, each employee will be losing a day or a couple of hours due to the bad economy. Our hotel has a low occupancy right now and it’s awfully to see a business not running well.  I don’t know…being flexible for work totally blows, sometimes.  Anyways, I was quite upset because I can no longer go to the prayer meetings or go to church on Sunday Morning.  I still can go to the Bible Study Meetings, though.  So, we will see. 

HAVE A VOICE, VOTE! (11.04.08):

I researched about the presidents & the propositions of California.  Man, it’s tough to make decisions for the future.  No matter what, I made a decision and if anyone knows me, I am very indecision person when it comes making a choice.  In any case, I voted.  I voted in that booth and kept repeating myself, what would Jesus mark on this ballot?  Some people I know laughed about me asking that question with each proposition I read on.  I used to get so offended but I didn’t mind.  If this is another way to spread the word, so be it.

STRUGGLE IS THE WORD (Today):

            I’ve been struggling with going to work with a smile, going or not going to the Bible Study meetings, being with my man with or without having a small tiny argument, planning the wedding, and etc.  Max Lacudo described it well. 

“The word Struggle is elsewhere translated as ‘tormented.’  Wasn’t easy.  Wasn’t glamorous.  Much of life is spent rowing.  Getting out of bed.  Fixing lunches.  Turning in assignments.  Changing diapers.  Paying bills.  Routine.  Regular.  More struggle than strut.  More wrestling than resting….There are certain passions only learned by pain.  And there are times when God, knowing that, allows us to endure the pain for the sake of the song.”  There are moments to be glamorous or in bliss but we all share of those dreadful times.  I learned even if I’m frustrated with every little situation, I pray.  I don’t know if my prayers are heard or even answered as quickly as possible.  I do know his timing is always right.  I believe what Mat Lacudo believes, “Every incident is intended to bring us closer to him.”  God is testing us to take away our pride and wanted to see what’s in our heart.    Technically, I think that’s what he is doing to me.  Slowly, I can see what kind of heart I have lately.  If you are struggling like me, let go of that stupid pride & make your heart desire for God’s love, not your own.